Không cần biết em là ai, không cần biết em từ đâu…Chỉ cần biết đó là em!

Mr. Lerner was talking with Mr. Yamamoto, the director of his company. When he said:

あなたも行きますか。

(Are you going, too?)

Mr. Yamamoto did not reply for a moment. He looked at Mr. Lerner and said yes coldly. Afterward, Mr. Takada, who was present then, told Mr. Lerner that it was not polite to call the director あなた.

After this, Mr. Lerner paid careful attention to how あなた is used by Japanese, and found it to be rather unpopular among them. It was surprised to learn how infrequently it is used compared with “you”, its apparent English equivalent.

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The Japanese very often do without any personal pronouns; indeed Japanese seem to avoid using them. When they have to use to some word to refer to a person, they use personal names instead of using personal pronouns corresponding to “he”, “she” or “you” in English. It is sometimes impossible to judge whether the speaker is talking about the second or third person from just looking at the sentence itself. For example, 山本さんも行きますか literally means “Is Mr. Yamamoto going, too?”  but in practice it can mean “Are you going, too?”

Sometimes the names of positions are used instead of personal names. Such terms as 先生 (teacher)、社長 (director)、奥さん (wife), お母さん (mother) are used in place of the name or あなた.  Especially when the position deserves respect, its name should be use rather than personal name or あなた. Thus Mr. Lerner should have said 社長もいらっしゃいますか to his director instead of あなたも行きますか (the verb mus be chosen according to the level of politeness, so いらっしゃいますis used instead of 行きます).

あなた is used in a very limited way. It can be used by older people to younger people. A teacher can call his student あなた, but a student cannot call his teacher あなた. A mother can say あなたも行く to her child (行く is a non-polite form of 行きます）, but the child never uses the same sentence to his mother.

あなた is also used among women of the same age. Here, too, the vulnerable あなた is liable to be replaced by personal names or the names of positions. Two housewives are very likely to say:

A: 奥さんも行く。(Is the wife going, too?)

B: ええ、奥さんも。(Yes. The wife, too?)

This exchange actually means “Are you going, too?” and “Yes. You, too?”

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1. afterward (adv): at a later time; after an event that has already been mentioned especially

2. apparent (adj): If something is apparent to you, it is clear and obvious to you

If you say that something happens for no apparent reason, you cannot understand why it happens.

3. vulnerable (adj): Someone who is vulnerable is weak and without protection, with the result that they are easily hurt physically or emotionally.

Something that is vulnerable can be easily harmed or affected by something bad

4. liable (adj): When something is liable to happen, it is very likely to happen